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[music throughout] Narrator: Black Hole 101: How To Be Safe Around A Black Hole.

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First of all, the good news is that as long as you stay far away,

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black holes aren’t all that bad. However, as you get closer, you need to keep
[ONSCREEN TEXT: “Not Safe” indicating a very small area around the black hole; “Safe” filling most of the surrounding space]

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a few things in mind. The radiation around the black hole can be extremely deadly,

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the chances of escape get slimmer the closer you get, and, if you get close enough,
[ONSCREEN TEXT: “Safe” indicating paths away from the black hole; “No” indicating paths toward the black hole]

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you now have to worry about being stretched into a giant noodle and time getting really weird.

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So, unless you have great radiation shields, a faster-than-light spaceship,

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or you’re completely indestructible, you should probably just stay away.

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Thanks for watching, and please…stay safe out there.
[music ends]

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[silence]

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[silence]