|
[00:00:00.00]
|
[music throughout] Narrator: So you want to visit a black hole. You’ve packed your bags, you've
|
|
[00:00:04.00]
|
updated your passport, and you’re basically ready to jump on a spaceship and blast off.
|
|
[00:00:08.00]
|
However, before you do that, I have just one piece of advice: Don’t.
|
|
[00:00:12.00]
|
[sound effects: Alien walking out from behind word]
|
|
[00:00:16.00]
|
[sound effects: Alien walking, pulling out flag] Narrator: Ok…if you really MUST go,
|
|
[00:00:20.00]
|
I suppose you should at least know a few things about black holes before you leave.
|
|
[00:00:24.00]
|
First, you should know exactly what a black hole IS. A black hole is a
|
|
[00:00:28.00]
|
physical object in space, just like everything else. It’s made up of a tiny but massive
|
|
[00:00:32.00]
|
point where gravity and density are infinite, a line beyond which everything, [ONSCREEN TEXT: “Singularity”]
|
|
[00:00:36.00]
|
Including light, can only fall INTO that tiny point, and sometimes some glowing stuff orbiting around it [ONSCREEN TEXT: “Event Horizon”]
|
|
[00:00:40.00]
|
and maybe some radiation. So basically, here [ONSCREEN TEXT: “Accretion Disk” and “Radiation Cones”]
|
|
[00:00:44.00]
|
Is kinda bad, here is really bad, and here is safe. [SCENE DESCRIPTION: “kinda bad” pointers aim at radiation cones, “really bad” pointers aim at event horizon and center of black hole, and “safe” is everywhere else]
|
|
[00:00:48.00]
|
Also, black holes mostly come in two sizes. Don’t ask me why—we still aren’t sure. <>
|
|
[00:00:52.00]
|
However, a black hole is also NOT a lot of things.
|
|
[00:00:56.00]
|
It is not a hole, a cosmic vacuum cleaner, a portal to another
|
|
[00:01:00.00]
|
dimension populated by unicorns and space potatoes, and absolutely NOT
|
|
[00:01:04.00]
|
a good place to vacation. [postcard showing the singularity is on-screen and is quickly crossed out]
|
|
[00:01:08.00]
|
Ok, fine. I guess next you’ll need to know how to FIND a black hole.
|
|
[00:01:12.00]
|
Though technically black holes could just sneak up behind you, they likely won’t. The nearest
|
|
[00:01:16.00]
|
known one is 3,000 light-years away anyway. However, if you WERE to go looking
|
|
[00:01:20.00]
|
for one, there are a couple of good ways to find them. First, black holes
|
|
[00:01:24.00]
|
tend to mess with their environments, so you can sometimes use interesting clues, such as
|
|
[00:01:28.00]
|
A bunch of stuff orbiting what appears to be…nothing. [ONSCREEN TEXT: “Orbiting Stars”]
|
|
[00:01:32.00]
|
And second, as we mentioned before, there’s often glowing stuff orbiting around them, caused by, well,
|
|
[00:01:36.00]
|
when things get too close. So now that you’ve FOUND a black hole
|
|
[00:01:40.00]
|
and CLEARLY aren’t listening to me saying not to go, it’s time for a few important
|
|
[00:01:44.00]
|
safety considerations. First of all, the GOOD news is that [ONSCREEN TEXT: “Fig. 1: Safe Zones”]
|
|
[00:01:48.00]
|
as long as you stay far away, black holes aren’t all that bad. [ONSCREEN TEXT: “Safe” marking most of the screen, with “Not Safe” indicating tiny area around the black hole]
|
|
[00:01:52.00]
|
However, as you get close, you need to keep a few things in mind. The radiation near the black hole [ONSCREEN TEXT: “Fig. 2: Be Careful!”]
|
|
[00:01:56.00]
|
can be extremely deadly, the chances of escape get slimmer the closer you get, [ONSCREEN TEXT: “Safe” label showing paths away from the black hole, and “No!” label showing paths toward the black hole]
|
|
[00:02:00.00]
|
and, if you get close enough, you now have to worry about being stretched into a giant noodle
|
|
[00:02:04.00]
|
and time getting really weird. So, unless you have great radiation shields, [ONSCREEN TEXT: “Fig 3: Unrealistic Solutions”]
|
|
[00:02:08.00]
|
a faster-than-light spaceship, or you’re completely indestructible, you should probably
|
|
[00:02:12.00]
|
just stay away. Well, that pretty much sums up black holes—
|
|
[00:02:16.00]
|
at least, before things start getting really complicated. But, before you go for real,
|
|
[00:02:20.00]
|
please refer to the handy brochure in your spacesuit pocket, since there’s quite a bit to remember.
|
|
[00:02:24.00]
|
Now then, remember your tickets, enjoy your trip, and please…
|
|
[00:02:28.00]
|
…be careful. [music ends]
|
|
[00:02:32.00]
|
[silence]
|